Whatever that doesn't kill you makes you Stronger...!!!

I read this little thing way back in 2007 in one of the forwarded emails.. I don't remember exactly who sent me that, but when I read it my immediate reaction was.. "wow.. perfect.. very well said..!!" Actually there is nothing new in it that I never knew or went through, I guess, not just me... none of us... but then when I read it, it seemed more like a properly put forward statement and has a punch in it.. :) Off late I have been thinking about so many things around this little line and finally arrived to the conclusion that they made enough material for me to compile a blog out of it.. :)

Yeah, so very true right.. like when you have something to deal with in front of you and it seems to be the end of the world, as if you are standing at the edge of huge sharp cliff top, or you are at the verge of drowning into a deep sea with water until your neck level, or the very next foot step will get you into huge valley of raging fumes, or you are just about to get sucked into a deep black hole and feel like you can never see light.. sounds familiar to many of us... the point is, we might have felt this way more than once in our life.. but the most important thing is, I am writing this today and you are reading it now, means we actually were not at the edge of the mountain cliff or in the deep sea or anything scary like that AND we crossed that situation somehow and made it through...

Ah, that indeed gives a sense of achievement, doesn't it? :) whatever made us feel like that, or scared us to death is no longer a big deal... next time when we are at similar point, we can bravely say.. "---yeah yeah.. I know you,..'been there.. done that'... thats easy... " yup it feels good... :) and thats what is termed as "experience", right?! Be it in career or in life when you are amidst tough times and believe me, everyone will find some solution or the other to come out of the crux and after that if you look back.. we feel "yes.. we did it.. that is behind us now... " and that leaves us with a valuable lesson which we can carry for life and share it with others who need it..

Just the way our body becomes immune to any disease when it attacks, we also become psychologically immune to tough situations and probably we ourselves wonder..'oh did we do that? so we could really do it?.. '

I want to share one wonderful experience.. I met one of my colleagues, Preeta, back in 2005 who worked for Mumbai branch. She visited Hyderabad for our annual meet and that was the first time I ever saw her. She was slim built and barely 5 feet tall like me. And that was just few weeks after the deadly days of heavy rainfall in Mumbai. Then I asked her.."how was it for you guys, how could you manage to get to home that night?" she said, "two of us girls were caught on the road as we already left work for the day and then we had to just walk for 8 hours all through the night with 4.5 feet water, all dark, no lights anywhere, ... and with no idea what we are stepping on, in the water, anything sharp, anything deep and in the continuous heavy rain. We just held our hands together all the way and I had to hold my neck upwards all the time as I am short and I have water until my chin.. finally we reached my friend's home.. yeah it was a scary night but we did it and today we are here.. " she smiled gracefully.. It literally awed me, and I had goosebumps all the time when she was narrating the incident.. but I saw her face calm and composed, looking through the incident with a sense of triumph.. :) I said.. "Preeta, I must tell you, you are a winner, it needs so much of courage to go through this situation, I mean we are not trained army people to sail through this kind of things, but you did it, and that is no simple thing, I appreciate your attitude of not giving up and just hanging on till you reach the destination..." and I requested her to speak few words to our team at our weekly cultural meet.

See now, for her, anything would be less than that night... right?!!

My guru (Sri Sirivennela Seetarama Shastry gaaru, a great and renowned Telugu Poet who pens lyrics for Telugu film songs. I am an ardent fan of him) aptly said the same thing beautifully in one of his songs and I love these lines..

"apuDu apuDu gatamE vetuku... suDilO paDitE salahaa aDugu.. gaDachina rOjulu talavaDamenduku Em laabham anaku ..

E dikkulu tOchani chikkula daarini daaTina naaTi smRti.. chUpada nee pragati"

(this song is the title song of MAA TV serial ammamma.com, please do listen to this whenever you get a chance... :) )

I am particularly impressed by the line I put in bold.. "when you actually were at a point where the way out was not so obvious and you felt direction-less but finally you put it behind you, and that memory, that experience.. doesn't it show your progress... ?" Oh yeah, couldn't agree more... (marokkasaari paadaabhivandanam guruvugaaru.. :) )

So, when we are actually facing a tough situation in life, it indeed gives us a great opportunity, either to learn a brand new lesson or to test our lesson learned earlier :) Oh! we could do this once, and so we can do it again probably better, and with more ease..

Every day is so beautiful offering loads and loads of exciting stuff.. enjoy it thoroughly... :)

Kids and questions... few thoughts.. !!!

Kids these days, mostly below the age of 10 I guess, have lots of questions to ask.. and they need to know reason for everything.. as one of my former colleagues, and also happens to be my distant cousin, stated so aptly.. .. this generation is not X generation they are 'Y' generation, I mean 'WHY?' generation... :)

Pranav is little more inquisitive than usual and had so many questions since the day he started communication... no exaggeration.. :). This obviously is a tough job for any parents.. but quickly I realized one thing, getting away from them by giving a just in time reply would put us into more trouble.. :) we will end up finding ways to support what we have said earlier... and eventually kids will stop believing in us.. and I surely feel one thing, in the current way of living I mean the way the society is moving towards a situation where there are umpteen number of peer pressures that our kids have to go through and many more challenges they need to face, we as parents should have that intimacy with our children so that they can count on us for anything they need. They should be able to ask us any kind of question that comes to their mind... at least if we are not able to answer, the attention that we pay or the sincerity with which we try to give them a convincing answer should be felt by them.. its important in my opinion.

About 3 years ago, I had this discussion with one of my colleagues who has twin daughters and are 2 years younger to Pranav. She was saying that they have a question for everything like how, why for just about anything that they see, listen, learn... and I don't know how I give them answers as certain things are beyond their understanding capability.. Then I said, actually no, we should not imagine a limit for their capability of understanding, we should give them as much information as possible and put little effort to express in simple words that they can relate to. And also be cautious or rather conscious .. :) that your answer might cause few more questions to come up... :) and so also have the patience to complete the conversation and give them the information.

We do not have to expect kids to understand everything that we told, or assume that all the questions are answered and the same question will not come up again.. generally kids will take whatever that is in their limit and leave the rest of it. After sometime they might think about it and come up with a different question about the same topic, or the same question again.. in that case, refer to the conversation we had earlier about the topic and then repeat the session if required.. :) and some times kids are naughty, even Pranav is.. :) and they pop a question just to make us talk.. then say like.. we already talked about this, so now you tell me why is it like this or how is it done.. that is what I do with him... :) most of the time it works... :)

When Pranav was studying LKG, in his school he was taught phonetics.. and how to pronounce words based on them.. he used to read everything that he sees, applying those phonetics.. like reading things written on hoardings, posters, something that comes on TV, and used to ask me immediately "anTE EnTi amma.. ?" (what does that word mean?)... :) you can imagine the flow of questions I used to get.. :) and I always tried to give him meaning and also answer the questions that might follow.. :) tough job though.. :)

Then one day we were going on my two wheeler and he saw an STD telephone booth on the way.. then he immediately asked me how will you pronounce STD.. :) tough question right.. :) then I thought for a while, this kind of questions are absolutely unavoidable for me coz.. he has already made this habit of reading everything that comes in his sight and verify the pronunciation with me.. :) .. so I have to do something about it.. then I told him... STD is not a word... it is an acronym.. and it will have an abbreviation and each letter in it represents a word starting with it.. so STD actually stands for Subscriber Trunk Dialing... and of course he had difficulty in comprehending what I was saying.. and then one very good example struck my mind and I used it.. I said, your school's name is Gowtham Model School.. but on your school bus it is written as GMS right.. so GMS is not a word, it is called an acronym and its abbreviation would be Gowtham Model School.. and somehow he picked it quickly.. :) and do I have to say, since that day there were plenty of GK questions flooding to me.. about what is the abbreviation for every acronym that came into his sight... :) I answered whatever I knew and if something that is not known to me came up, I used to say "naannaa, naaku kUDA teliyadu, telusukuni cheptaanu".. (meaning - even I do not know, I will find out and let you know.. ) and I google to find the same... :) This process continues even today.. :) and needless to mention I came to know so many abbreviations because of him...

The story did not end here, one day he asked what is the abbreviation of 'Ltd.' :).... then I said, ok, not everything is a word or an acronym, there are certain short forms in use for few bigger words and Ltd actually represents Limited and Ltd is a short form written.. it took for a while for him to get this thing totally.. but now I do not get such questions..

Yeah coming back to the point I was trying to impress you upon... actually Pranav was only 5 years old when I told him about all this acronym and abbreviation jargon.. and if I I considered that he was too young to know about all these... I would have to give him an answer like 'thats the way it is, you will not understand why even if I tell you', but then that would switch off the quest, in fact a healthy one, which is not so good.. I thought 'Ok if he understands well and good, otherwise he will leave, let me leave it to him to decide.. even he does not understand now, he might know it later and can make sense out of what is said today'

I thought, my experience would help few parents, if not all :), and so I shared it.. I would be more than glad if it helps at least one fellow mother.. :)

So you don't follow what you teach me..?!!

Yeah :), Pranav asked me this question one day.. here is the story.. and yeah here is the little intro before we get into the actual episode.. As I wrote in my first and foremost post.. there is a small routine both of us do sometimes at bed time, thats learning poems from sumatI Satakamu and vEmana Satakamu.. I taught him few poems and one of them is a poem from sumatI Satakamu and it goes like this ..

vinadagunevvaru cheppina
viniantane vEgapaDaka vivarimpadagun
kani kalla nijamu telisina
manujuDepO neetiparuDu mahilO sumatI !!

meaning.. listen to all that people had to tell you, but you need to see and analyze it yourself before accepting it as truth. A person who can differentiate truth and falsehood by directly looking at the facts oneself is considered to be an ideal one.

He learned this poem a while ago, about 2 months .. yeah the actual story begins here.. myself and Pranav were driving back to home from some place on a Saturday night, and we were passing by a movie theater in which a Telugu movie King, starring Nagarjuna, was playing.

Then Pranav asked me.. "amma.. king movie chUddaamaa?" meaning "shall we go watch King movie?" I said "naannaa movie baagaalEDaTa, vaddulE" meaning "it seems the movie is not good, so let's not watch it", then he asked me "evaru cheppaaru neeku?" ("Who told you?") I replied to him saying that one of my colleagues had watched the movie and said it wasn't so good.. then he immediately said.. "anTE.. evarEm cheptE adi nammEstaavaa nuvvu? nuvvu veLLi chUsi adi nijamO kaadO telusukOvaa ? vinadagu nevvaru cheppina vininantane vEgapaDaka vivarimpadagun, kani kalla nijamu telisina manujuDepO neetiparuDu mahilO sumatI, so nuvvu neetiparuDu kaadu pO!!" meaning "So you would believe in everything that is told to you? Will you not go and see yourself and find out if it is true?" and he recited the whole poem and said.."you are not an ideal person.." and he looked away seriously.. I just broke into laughter and was continuously laughing for 5 minutes.. coz his expression was so serious and he was not smiling at all :)

Sometimes we can really be cornered with the morals we teach our kids.. as I said parenting is the sweetest thing and also the toughest... :)

Oh yeah.. you can see them.. !!

This little episode happened when Pranav was about 4 years old.. and this one is my dearest one :), I consider it as my first big shock or rather sweet surprise..

My apartment's main door opens into a common corridor of the building facing the street and there is a railway track parallel to, and one street apart from, our street. On an average at least two trains pass on it every hour and we can watch them going, standing at the main door .. Pranav used to love watching them... every time he heard the train horn he would quickly get a small step-up stool , stand on it and watch it go until it went out of sight.. and he wouldn't want to be disturbed until it was gone.. he started this routine since the day we moved in here and Pranav was 3 1/2 years old then.. I used to wonder what was he observing every time.. ?! I mean, it is just the train moving from left to right or right to left in our sight...

One day it was about 8:00 in the night and it was dark outside, we both were sitting in the drawing room and talking and there was train horn.. and yeah he quickly ran and grabbed the step-up stool put it near the main door, got himself on it and started looking at the train.. and it was really dark outside and he appeared straining to look at the train, I mean he wasn't able to see it.. then casually I said.. "naannaa, baiTa cheekaTigaa undi kadaa, train kanapaDadulE ippuDu" (meaning, " its dark outside, so you can not see the train now") in a fraction of second he turned towards me and said in a cool steady tone.. "kanapaDutundi, train lO lights unTE kanapaDutundi, ippuDu veLLEdi goods train andukani kanapaDaTlEdu, manushulu veLLE train ayitE train lO lights unTaayi, kanipistundi".. (meaning, "yes you can see if the train has lights inside it, the one going now is a goods train so I am not able to see it, if it were a passenger train I could have seen it")... I was just speechless and astonished with the confidence in his tone.. I mean he was so sure and was not expecting any endorsement from me.. :) and I did not expect him to know this as he was just 4 years old.. and he told me many things about trains that night, like
trains can be of green, blue and brown colors...
green color trains are short ones (they are local trains in our area :) )
blue color trains are longer ones
green and blue trains have people in them
brown color trains are very long, do not have people in it, they are goods trains and they do not have lights in them
brown color trains move slowly and I can watch them for longer time.. :)

and all of them noted only through his observation and he never used to talk when the train passes by and wouldn't like to be disturbed at all..

Kids are fresh, pure and are open minded and can take any information in its purest form with no tags attached.. :) We as adults tend to loose this openly accepting nature as we confine our thinking bounded by various information pieces that we know.. some times overly applying logic/ knowledge becomes hurdle for us to think out of the box and to keep simple things simple..

Keen observation skill is what all of us are born with I guess .. I mean kids have it so much and we don't have it a lot when compared to them.. and I understood that is why it is said, kids learn from 'what you do' not from 'what you say'.. and we need to be cautious when we are around them to set a right example.. all elders need to think about this when we are around our kids..

I like this identity better than my own... !!

There is so much to say about my identity as "Pranav's mother" than my self identity as Prabha or rather I should say, I enjoy being Pranav's mom better than anything else.. . I started this blog to share all my pleasant surprises and shocks (??!! ) that my bundle of joy Pranav gives me almost everyday.. :) I should have started this long long ago.. but thanks to me .. :) at least now I realized its significance and started it off.. He is almost 8 years old now.. and he never stops amazing me since the day he was born.. :)

To start with I want to share the most recent episode, last night when me and my little one were spending that mother- son time before going to sleep, he generally asks me to tell him a story.. as I already ran out of stories which interest him.. a while ago, (may be around 1.5 years) I started teaching him small poems.. at bed time and explain the essence of it.. I taught few poems from sumatI Satakamu and vEmana Satakamu.. he likes them and enjoys repeating and knowing the moral conveyed.. so.. yeah coming to last night he asked me to teach a new poem from vEmana Satakamu, so I started off..

gangi gOvu paalu gariTaDaina chaalu
kaDavaDainanEmi kharamu paalu

he stopped me and asked.. "gangi gOvu anTE?" then I started explaining.. a small quantity of cow milk is worthy and useful, what is the use of having a big pot full of donkey's milk... then he interrupted me and asked, "why not ? " .. "amma, asalu donkey's paalu istaaya? enduku manam donkey paalu taagamu ? " (meaning why don't we drink donkey's milk..? ) Oh yeah, I never even thought about this.. :( and I don't even know why not.. !! and I said, "hmm.. may be they are difficult to digest.. " he immediately stopped me again and said.... "ammaa, paalu liquid, hard solid kaadu kadaa gaTTigaa unDi argadu anaDaaniki.. " (meaning.. milk is a liquid, it is not hard solid so that it is difficult to digest!) ... I could not stop smiling at his application of knowledge or information, whatever.. even though it is little.. and may not be totally correct.. :) .. and what to do, it was obvious, I cant go ahead with teaching this poem.. :) so I taught him some other poem.. but was also curious internally, I mean.. yeah.. why not.. and I continued thinking.. may be they don't taste so good.. or they smell bad.. or not hygienic for humans.. so many thoughts but was amazed with his inquisitive attitude.. (he always did this to me.. :) ... always.. !!!) . This morning I asked my friends the same question.. and one good friend pointed me to this link..

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asses%27_milk_(Donkey%27s_milk)

the essence is that donkey's milk is indeed considered to be the closest to human milk and is very nutritious.. hmm parenting has become a pleasant challenge these days..:) we are forced to know more, learn new things and explore and revisit certain things that we, in our generation, just accepted and moved on.. our kids, they make us do all these and make us better persons..

Now that I knew certain facts, I can not teach him this poem anymore or at least convince him with the analogy.. :)